Ema Hesire, I know you're in there.
The wedding has been all arranged.
Please, gods. Please get me out of this.
You turned down the jeweler. You turned down the grain merchant.
You turned down the Pharaoh's food taster. There's only one man left who'll have you:
You'll marry Hazzi-Ra.
So what does he do?
He's a fuel merchant.
-Mother. -All right, so he sells camel dung.
-Forget it. -You forget it.
Mother, I don't want to settle down. I want to do things and invent things.
I want to try things that nobody's ever tried before.
-I want to fly. -Sure.
And I want to smoke and tell your father to go to hell.
Emmy, if I thought we women...
...could any way change anything, don't you think I'd encourage you?
No. Don't. These are the times we live in.
Mother, there's got to be a better way.
Please, gods. Please help me find it.
Sure, the Nile is overflowing. There is a wheat shortage.
The Pharaoh has hemorrhoids.
The gods have bigger things to worry about than you.
What would you say if I told you, you get more beautiful every day?
What was that?
Arms and legs? God, how thoughtless. I'm sorry.
"I've got sunshine
"On a cloudy day
"When it's cold--" She needs a 10.
"Cold outside--" What do you think?
Speak up. Don't be shy, now.
"I got the month of May"
Wrong sex!
Now, that's the ticket.
Nothing beats a great pair of legs.
"What can make me feel this way"
Popeye look.
"I got so much honey
"All the bees envy me
"I got the sweetest song that I can hear--"
Boss! Hi! Great. I was just coming to see you.
You know, you could get the dummy of the week award, Switcher.
-Yeah, she turned out pretty real. -I wasn't talking about her.
What do you think? It only took me six days.
I could turn out three or four a month.
You're supposed to knock off three or four of these a day, Switcher!
-Now, get back to work! -What about quality, boss?
Style and grace. These things take time.
That's it! You're fired!
Fired?
Okay, but can I finish her?
I'm a sculptor. I'm trying to be a sculptor and she's my work of--
Beat it!
Now!
There you go.
Have fun.
You guys having a good time? Having fun at the party?
That's my boy.
Here you go.
Just one second. Here you go. Bye-bye.
Want a giraffe for the birthday boy? A monkey?
A pony? A tiger?
-How about a hint? -I want the big one, stupid.
That's the official Flights of Fancy balloon. How about a poodle?
Listen, biscuit-brain, my old man is paying for this party.
One giant balloon, coming up.
There you go. Have fun. Now, what do you want?
Daddy!
Biscuit-brain, what the hell do you think you're doing?
Take your hands off my kid!
-My balloon! -You're fired.
-Trimming the hedges long, Switcher? -Actually, no.
I'm really a sculptor.
But there's not too much work for us these days.
But no reason why hedges can't become art.
You're fired! Get your paycheck and get out of here!
What do you think?
What do I think?
I'm fired! Pick up my paycheck and get out.
-Look. The road warrior. -Hi, Roxie.
His Jag's in the shop. Hi.
It'd be nice if you'd pick me up in something with doors.
-Come on. -So where are we going to dinner?
I'm not that hungry.
I thought maybe we'd grab a hot dog, go for a walk, look at the moon.
You lost your job again?
No, I didn't lose it, I know where it is. Just somebody else has got it.
Can we get out of here?
-Good night, Mr. Wert. -Nice work, children.
-Good night, B.J. -See you tomorrow.
-Who's that? -That's B.J. Wert, the regional manager.
He is Illustra. Can we get this bucket of junk to go?
Yeah, I'm trying.
-Good night, Roxie. -Good night.
Must be nice having your own limo. Go from any funeral right to dinner.
This job at Illustra is destroying your sense of humor.
You gotta quit.
I'm not the one that can't deal with reality.
Reality is very disappointing.
I really do care about you.
But I think if we sleep together tonight, we'd only confuse things.
I think you should see a professional.
Professional? You mean a hooker?
No, a psychiatrist.
I can't afford a psychiatrist.
Then call one of those shrinks on the radio.
They're only good for little problems that fit between commercials.
Good night.
Wait--
My God! It's you!
I wanted to take you, but they wouldn't let me.
You're the first thing I've created in a really long time...
...that made me feel like an artist.
No!
See you tomorrow.
Good morning! What a gentleman.
They're putting up the sign!
How fun!
It's a skosh crooked.
Isn't this exciting! A customer lined up to get into our store.
-Tell me, do you like our new sign? -It's very nice.
-You've really been here 100 years? -Not personally, but the store, yes.
It was built by my grandfather, Tough Teddy Prince.
My father ran it until he passed away recently.
I'm sorry.
He was very old. And he died the way he wanted to.
In women's lingerie.
Pardon me?
Heart attack, walking through the women's department.
They don't have that sign quite right yet.
-Look out! -Sorry, man.
Watch yourself!
I got it!
Maybe.
Young man, I'm sorry!
No, that's no problem!
-lf I can make it up to you in any way. -Yeah! I could use a job!
-What do you do? -Anything!
-When can you start? -As soon as I finish this!
-Young man, what's your name? -My name? Jonathan Switcher.
You're hired!
Thank you! My lucky day.
Every time I walk through these doors, I feel like I'm home.
I practically grew up here.
Greta Garbo used to get her makeup right over there.
Of course, you probably don't know who Greta Garbo is.
Sure, I do. Ninotchka, Grand Hotel.
I don't sleep much at night.
Neither do I.
At least, not in the two weeks since I've been in charge here.
I don't know how we're going to make this store great again.
Looks fine to me. What time do we open?
We are open.
I'm sure things'll pick up by lunch.
Yes, B.J....
It's all going according to plan. It's like a ghost ship around here.
They're gonna be begging to sell this place within a month.
No, Timkin is no threat.
B.J., she's here.
Mr. Richards.
Do you know what this young man just did?
-Shoplifting? -He saved my life!
Those incompetents you hired nearly got me killed.
If I were paranoid, I'd swear this was sabotage.
It's not as if I was turning away Harvard graduates.
If you know someone you feel is qualified to work here....
Yes! Jonathan Switcher. Let's show him our gratitude.
$5 should do it.
No! I want you to give him a job. Take good care of him.
Thank you.
Switcher?
What kind of work experience have you had?
I've had just about every job there is.
Briefly, I'd like to do something creative.
Maybe with, say, mannequins.
Please. Listen, I pride myself on being able to size up a job applicant...
...and see just what kind of executive potential he has.
I have just the job for you.
So, you got a new job. That's terrific. What is it?
Let's just say that thousands of dollars of merchandise...
...go through my hands every day.
I'm taking you out for a celebration dinner.
-All those panties, up to lingerie. -Panties. I'm into it.
-Did you say panties? -Panties?
Can't talk now. Pick you up at 8:00.
-See you then. -Bye.
I've seen him pick you up. That little pissant!
You can't tell me that he's satisfying you sexually.
That's none of your business.
I would like to make it my business.
I would love to sink my teeth into your little bottom.
What?
Did Armand say something bad? Forgive me.
English and me, it's new. My tongue, it slides.
Look, our relationship is strictly business!
-You got that? -Yes.
Of course.
I have some reports to get out by noon o'clock.
-See anything you like? -I was just looking for panties.
You found them.
However, my friend, you missed the lingerie department by four floors.
-Get going. -Right.
Asshole.
What was that?
Nice hall.
I must be losing my mind.
All artists must fall in love with their creations, but you seem so special.
God.
Roll over, Bill Shakespeare.
That's the sweetest sentiment these ears have ever heard.
-No, I was rehearsing a play. -I always find it best not to explain.
It adds a certain mystique to one's reputation.
No. I'm a regular kind of guy, okay?
Don't disappoint me.
When you're finished your conversation...
...bring her to window number 3.
-Sure. You got it. I'm Jonathan Switcher. -Hollywood.
Hollywood Montrose. Doesn't it just sing?
It sings, yeah.
I'm a window dresser here. We're going to have fun.
I am so glad you're working here.
-You are? -Why, of course I am, honey.
I never thought they'd hire anyone stranger than me.
Hello?
Halt!
-Identify yourself. -Jonathan Switcher, new stock boy.
Yeah.
Mr. Richards told me all about you.
I am Capt. Felix Maxwell, night security commander.
It's my responsibility to secure the perimeter here...
...at Prince and Company.
I didn't know there was danger of invasion.
There's no danger, as long as me and Rambo are on patrol.
-Rambo? -Yeah.
I call him that because he likes to draw...
...first blood.
Just what is your assignment here tonight, boy?
I'm helping Hollywood with the window.
The little Mary has an assistant now?
-Where do you people come from? -Ohio.
Ohio?
You mean they got them in Ohio?
So, you like your new assignment?
Could have been worse. Could have put me on with a bigoted jerk.
Hold it there, boy! Did you have anybody particular in mind?
You think he meant anybody in particular, Rambo?
Don't let Felix get to you.
He just has a bad case of Miami Vice.
I gotta go, okay?
I promised my girlfriend I was gonna take her out tonight.
What happened? What did I say?
Albert left me, that bitch. He said my thighs are too fat.
-Do my thighs look too fat to you? -No.
You didn't look!
I don't know about men's thighs. They look fine to me. They really do.
Thank you.
Albert called me "cellulite city."
Maybe he's right. Maybe I should have my hips lifted.
No! If you want to lose weight, just diet.
Diets are no use. It's those jelly doughnuts.
They call to me in the middle of the night:
"Hollywood. Come and get me." I can't stay away from them.
-It's like you and women's dressing rooms. -No, that was a misunderstanding.
Have any of your friends ever been vacuumed out?
I heard those doctors in Beverly Hills...
...they just open you up and suck those fat cells out of there.
It sounds nice.
I wonder if you could do it yourself, with a vacuum cleaner or something.
Albert's been off work for an hour now.
There's just no telling what he's gotten himself into.
Take it easy, okay? Just go home and get yourself some rest. You'll be fine.
An artiste does not leave his work unfinished.
No, it looks fine to me.
In that case, I'm a dream that once was.
Look out, Albert, because Hollywood is on your case.
Yeah, go get him.
Good grief.
What's the matter? Don't you like your new scarf?
Not especially.
Shit!
What a funny way to say hello.
What the hell's going on?
My name is Ema Hesire, but you can call me Emmy.
This is a joke, right?
A Prince and Company initiation? Who hired you? Hollywood.
Nobody hired me, Jonathan. You know who I am.
No, this can't be happening.
I know! The sign, the electricity. My brain synapse, it was destroyed.
I felt so sorry for you last night. You looked so lost and Ionely.
Last night, you saw me?
No. You can't be her.
When you made me, didn't you feel inspiration?
Almost like your hands were being moved by a force not of this world?
You made this body so that I could come to life!
Am I in the twilight zone or am I just nuts?
I'm so glad I picked you!
I'm gonna create someone who doesn't like me?
So, tell me your life story. It seems to have slipped my mind.
It's a long story.
See, I was born in 2514 B.C. in Edfu, Egypt.
-I'll be 4,501 next April. -I'll bake a cake.
Back then, I wasn't allowed to do anything.
Do you know I was supposed to marry?
-Who? -A camel dung dealer.
Would have been my guess. I'm stressed. I'm having a hallucination caused by stress.
Does this feel like a hallucination? Come on, let's go have some fun.
Food additives. It's food additives.
Come on!
Except for early morning clouds...
...the weather for the Greater Philadelphia area should remain the same....
Damn him.
...with a slight increase in temperature.
The things I could've done with these tools!
-You like to work with your hands? -Yes. I love to build and invent things.
-Back in Edfu, I even made a pair of wings. -And I'm sure you flew.
That's right. Almost.
You still don't believe I'm real, do you?
I'm open for discussion.
Why don't we stick to good, old-fashioned hand tools for now.
-You've got good hands. -Thank you.
I like the way they felt when you were putting me together.
Tonight we'll do something different and special.
Something this store has never seen before.
I wish you didn't look so worried.
Easy for you to say. As a mannequin, you'll always have work.
Me, I'm gonna wind up in the nuthouse after this.
I wonder if insanity is covered in the employee health plan?
That's the dress I should wear in the window.
Don't do that.
You weren't so shy when you were creating me.
You weren't so real.
Good God, who are you?
Good morning, boys and girls. I don't see Zingy.
She just bit smiling Alan.
You look foxy! Can I ride you?
-I'll be walking to work. Thank you. -No! Don't be silly!
Wait!
I thought our plans were for 8:00 last night. My mistake.
-I've got to talk to you. -We have nothing to talk about.
Take a hike, wussy pants.
Something happened last night.
I'm going crazy. I saw things that couldn't have happened.
Where were you? You look like you slept in the street.
-Prince and Company. -Prince and Company! Your big job!
You know the mannequin that I made?
She's there. She came to life. She knew who I was.
You could have told me you just decided to stand me up.
Instead, you come here to me lying with this ridiculous story!
No, I'm not lying, I'm insane.
Armand, let's get out of here.
Mom, when I was growing up, did I ever do anything really strange?
Yeah, I know I was always different.
Let me ask you this:
Is there any history of insanity in the family?
I mean, Grandma--
Grandma and Grandpa weren't half-brother and sister?
No, I'm fine, Ma.
You know, you're alone a lot. You start inventing things.
Women, you know, a beautiful woman....
Enough about me. How are you?
You ever have hallucinations?
This is America. You do not set the pace by redecorating.
-You demolish. -Of course. I'll remember that.
We'll build the best Illustra yet on that site.
And when I move up...
...someone will have to take my place here.
I'll be keeping my eye on you.
B.J.! You won't believe it!
Prince and Company has the most incredible window.
I'm talking fabu. People were lined up outside to get a peek.
At what?
I passed it coming back from the tanning session.
It's the most amazing thing I've ever seen.
Really?
You know, it really wasn't that great.
It was interesting.
In a jejune way, at best.
I didn't care for it myself.
You know....
You should have seen it! It was beyond brilliant!
There was 20 mannequins with tennis rackets coming out of....
Beej, he's just a twerpy stock boy!
That window was a fluke.
When I move up, somebody will have to take my place here.
But if you let that stock boy screw things up, it sure won't be you.
I've worked on this deal too long to have it ruined by some snot-nosed punk.
I can handle him.
I meant you!
Of course you did. But you know that the board meeting...
...is today. I guarantee the sale will go through.
Under your inspired leadership, Illustra will reach new heights. So we--
Richardsl
Where in the hell did you learn to kiss ass like that?
Did you take a class?
No, sir. That's a God-given gift.
Beej? B.J., are you there?
We'd all love to know what possessed Switcher to create such a window display.
Did you see those crowds gaping on the sidewalk?
It's an embarrassment!
Never you fear, your Hollywood is here.
Rumor Control has it that the board wants to fire your little behind.
You let me in there at those so-and-sos.
I'll straighten them out, tout de suite. How can they think of firing you?
They're business people.
They won't appreciate an emotional appeal.
You're right.
I was hoping to avoid this, but this is an hour of desperation.
This is not the way to approach this, okay?
You don't think so?
Please don't tell anyone you saw me dressed like this.
I have a reputation to uphold.
My lips are sealed. I appreciate this demonstration.
That's it! A demonstration!
I'll create a media event. Call the newspaper, boys and girls.
The headline will read: "If Jonathan is fired, Hollywood flies."
Excuse me while I step out onto the window ledge.
No!
Come on.
-I'm sorry. -It's okay.
-I do get carried away sometimes. -No, not you.
That Richards, he gives men a bad name!
No! Mr. Richards said he was gonna fix everything for me.
What arrogance!
That worm of a stock boy has created an affront to the dignity of this store.
I'll have it taken down immediately...
...and make sure that lunatic never works in this town again.
What say, shall we move on to the sale to Illustra?
Just a minute, Mr. Richards. I believe we're onto something here.
Maybe people will come to see our bold, new window displays.
If they come to look, they'll stay to buy.
With all due respect, Mrs. Timkin, it's a little late for that.
And we do have the firm offer from Illustra.
For one tenth the value of the store!
Besides, I can't bear the thought of selling this place...
...especially to that awful B.J. Wert.
We know how much the store means to you, ma'am...
...but, 10 percent is better than bankruptcy.
I think Mrs. Timkin is right. I move we postpone the sale for six weeks.
I second the motion.
All in favor?
All opposed?
This meeting is adjourned.
-Harris, would you bring Mr. Switcher in? -What? No, wait.
I think--
Good news. We've not only decided to keep you on...
...but I'm promoting you to visual merchandiser.
You're kidding! That's great!
What is it?
Just keep doing what you did last night and you'll be fine.
I'm not sure I can do it again.
Last night might have been a one-time inspiration.
Don't doubt yourself. Go with it. Feel it.
You're doing the job you were meant to do.
You must lead a charmed life.
It was all I could do to save your skin in here.
No thanks are necessary.
Good evening, Mr. Richards, sir.
Listen, that new stock boy, Switcher, has been promoted.
He'll be doing windows at night.
Just keep an eye on him for me.
Do you suspect pilferage, sir? I'd be happy to strip-search him.
You people that work at night scare me.
I just want you to let me know what he's up to, how he works.
Yes, sir. His M.O. Would you like that in a written report?
You write?
No. Rambo does.
-Just watch him. -Yes, sir.
Come on, Rambo.
We have got ourselves a mission.
Jesus Christ, Rambo!
Hi, it's me! Jonathan, remember?
I guess it was just temporary insanity.
"O ye of little faith."
You're back! I thought--
You remind me of my old boyfriend, Chris.
He didn't have any confidence, either.
-Chris? Who's Chris? -Just a sailor.
I told him that the world was round and I never saw him again.
Christopher Columbus? You knew him?
So, you didn't come here directly from Edfu?
No. I tried out different times and places but none of them ever seemed right.
You didn't happen to run into Michelangelo?
Michelangelo. Yes!
He wasn't very interested in me.
He was involved with some guy named David.
-Come on. -Were you there?
Mrs. Timkin loved what you did last night, but they think I did it.
They want me to keep doing brilliant windows.
-You've gotta help me. -Of course.
You are magic.
Where do they hide all the musicians?
-Come on, let's dance! -No. I can't.
Shake that thing!
Great. I want you to meet somebody. This is Emmy.
Very nice.
Maybe I can get G.I. Joe, and we can double sometime.
No! You don't understand. She--
Don't say nothing. It's cool.
It's obvious to this country girl that you're an A-number one creative freak.
Imagine pretending to be a stock boy when you're a major artiste.
I am so jealous.
Some people may find you strange, but not me. I respect that.
Create, honey, create!
I'll leave you two alone and go meet Albert for dinner.
-I hope he doesn't mind. -No.
Just when I think you're real, you vanish. What's with you?
-What's with me? -Didn't I tell you?
You're the only one who can see me like this.
-That's not exactly fair, is it? -Talk to them.
Do you hear something?
Wait a minute.
Okay, you Rambo, get ready.
Attack!
Rambo.
What? Stay there!
Easy, Felix. I don't think she's armed.
You can fool Rambo, but it won't work with me, Switcher!
My brain is quicker than a--
I think that we've outdone ourselves.
Yeah, this one's kind of fun.
-Ready? -Let her rip.
Very nice.
-Good morning, Mrs. T. -Good morning, Jonathan.
What do you think? It's hot, there's gonna be meltdown.
Yes! Hot, smoking, burning, churning, whatever!
Oh yes!
Hello?
Hi, Jonathan. Hi.
It's me, Roxie.
I thought you weren't talking to me.
I wanted to see you. I want to know you're all right.
I gotta get some sleep. I work nights now, okay?
All right, but get up in time for lunch.
I'm taking you to Chez Jacques at 1:00.
You know where it is.
Yeah, I was fired from that place once, I almost burned that joint down.
It'll be just like old times.
And please don't stand me up again.
Yeah, okay.
Bye.
He'll be there.
Love that gal.
Hi, Tony.
Hi, Hans!
I see you're wearing the nighttime hair at lunch now. Looks good.
It's you.
The flambe terrorist.
Will you not be satisfied till you burn the whole place down?
It was an accident.
I tried to show the customer a little flair.
Jonathan!
-You're here to dine? -That's right, old boy!
By the way, the eyebrows are growing back nice.
Sorry I'm late, I overslept.
That's okay. You're only an hour late.
Just glad you made it.
I love this place. It's so romantic.
Yeah! Boy, they did a good job rebuilding the balcony.
It went up like a Roman candle.
Jonathan, it seems like I was all wrong about you.
And I have a way of making it up for you.
How would you like to be the chief window dresser at Illustra?
You're kidding.
Word is out, Jonathan. You're hot.
Can you imagine being at Illustra?
-They want me? -We want you.
What if I told you I had a little help?
Fine. There's two of you? You can bring him along.
And what if I told you it was a very beautiful woman?
I wouldn't mind. Not in the least.
I can't do it.
-Monday, we'll work together. -You're not listening.
You can drive me to work.
I miss that quirky little motorcycle of yours.
-I'm not taking the job. -What? Why not?
If I'm one thing, I'm Ioyal.
Jonathan, you're not seriously turning me down?
I'm not the same guy I used to be. I finally found a place where I belong.
I'll see you around.
I got it! Don't panic! It's just a little one!
Bye, Roxie!
There's something strange...
...going on in the store at night, Mr. Richards.
Every time Rambo sees a mannequin, he gets so scared...
...his little pug tail comes right out his little mouth.